Research Divisions
Division of Domestic Acoustics
Measuring the sounds a household makes and the voices that make them. The division works exclusively in other people's homes and is rarely invited back.
Habitual Knuckle-Crackers Have Measurably Quieter Footsteps
The Malarkey Institute's Division of Domestic Acoustics spent the spring in other people's hallways, measuring the sound a household makes w
People Who Talk to Their Houseplants Develop a Measurably Lower Speaking Voice
Roughly half of all houseplant owners admit to speaking to them, and the practice is generally treated as harmless. New measurements from th
The Third Stair Is the Only Honest Stair in Any Domestic Staircase, Institute Confirms
In the standard domestic staircase, the third stair is the only honest stair. It announces every midnight descent with a single, unhidden cr
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